Therapy for Therapists: 5 Mistakes to Watch For

Finding a therapist when you’re a therapist can be surprisingly difficult. Therapy for therapists comes with unique challenges. Many mental health professionals struggle to find someone who understands the profession without making assumptions or turning sessions into consultation. Whether you’re looking for your first therapist or trying again after disappointing experiences, knowing what to look for can make a significant difference. Here are 5 mistakes to look out for in treatment, and what you might expect from someone who works well with other therapists. 

Mistake # 1: Encouraging Intellectualizing Instead of Vulnerability -  As therapists we see many clients who are great at intellectualizing their feelings. Oftentimes the intellectualizers come in confused, overwhelmed, and stuck. They struggle to understand why their emotions are still controlling them if they’ve done the work to “figure it out.”  Understanding our experiences and emotional reactions is a very important part of our growth, however we cannot stop there. Therapists tend to be impacted even more by this when seeking treatment. You’ve taken the class on conflictual family dynamics, you understand the physiology behind burnout, and you just took a continuing education class on coping skills for emotional reactivity. If your therapist doesn’t take this into consideration, you will end up in a continuous cycle of talking it through, feeling relief for a day or two, and quickly ending up in the same state of emotional overwhelm. You need someone who is able to see the tendency to over intellectualize for what it often is… a protective mechanism for avoiding vulnerability. 

Mistake #2: Expecting You to Be Their Therapist - I will never forget the time I logged on to my personal session to my therapist crying, taking 10 minutes of my session to break down about the fight she just had with her husband. Trust me, I completely understand we are all human. There is nothing wrong with a therapist having a moment, and professionally letting their client know they need to step away for a minute to regroup, or simply reschedule for when they’re in a better headspace. However, you should never feel like you have to be your therapist's therapist, simply because you are in the field. It can be a hard balance when working with folks who understand your experiences more than others, but that cannot get in the way of clients who are therapists having their own dedicated space for processing. If you’re feeling like you’re having to show up for your therapist a little too much, and the relationship feels safe enough to do so, it can be worth it to have a conversation around your needs. You also always have the right to terminate treatment if your sessions are not feeling helpful. In your own sessions, it is never your job to take care of anyone else. 

Mistake #3: Relying on “What Would You Tell Your Client?” - In 2026, I wish I didn’t have to spend that much time on this. However, I know it needs to be mentioned. I’m sure there are rare moments where hearing this could be really profound. However, if this is your therapist’s go-to intervention, it’s a bit of a red flag for me. There are many times we know what we probably should do, but for various reasons are having a hard time accessing that. Maybe instead of asking, “What would you tell your client to do in this situation?” it could be more helpful to be validated in the difficulty and shame therapists feel when they aren’t feeling their best. Oftentimes when we are given permission to let go of some of our shame, it opens up more space for realistically being able to make changes for ourselves. No matter what our job is, we all feel stuck or overwhelmed sometimes. It’s ok to be a human.   

Mistake #4: Turning Therapy into Case Consultation - Our personal therapy can be a great space to work through any “self of therapist” issues that may arise from cases. At the same time, it can be tricky to balance this without crossing over to what actually could be discussed in a clinical consultation space. It can become uncomfortable very quickly if you feel you’re not getting what you signed up for. If you find your therapist focusing too much on helping you through cases, and not your personal concerns, it may be time for a conversation. There are separate consultation or supervision spaces for those topics, and you deserve a space about you! 

Mistake #5: Skipping Rapport Because You’re Also a Therapist - I’ve heard way too many horror stories from my clients who are therapists about treatment experiences where providers rushed the process under false assumptions. Whether they do it consciously or not, it can be extremely harmful. At best, this can lead to you feeling annoyed and back on the hunt for another provider. At worst, if the therapist reacts out of their own frustrations or insecurities, you can leave feeling shameful, furious, or even hesitant to pursue therapy again at all. Some providers end up rushing to “the work” and letting rapport building take a backseat. For example, when seeking EMDR therapy, there are multiple steps to take before even approaching bilateral stimulation. It is not ok or effective to skip to step four just because your client themselves is a therapist. It can actually be very harmful at times to speed up the process too quickly. Research shows time and  again that the therapeutic relationship is the most significant predictor of success in treatment. That statistic doesn’t magically change when the client has the same career. In therapy, all parts of you deserve space to simply be, not just the helper ones. You are allowed to be a person, too.   

What to Expect From Therapy With Me, Molly Thomas, LMFT

Finding a therapist as a therapist shouldn’t require lowering your expectations. You deserve a space where you don’t have to be the expert, where vulnerability is welcomed, and where your therapist sees you as a person before seeing you as another clinician! This is exactly what I strive to provide at Common Ground Therapy, a safe space for clients to do the deeper work they’ve been yearning for. As you may have seen on the Services Offered page already, one of my core beliefs as a therapist and a human is that sharing emotional experiences with others is how we grow. That doesn’t happen overnight. We spend as much time as necessary creating a safe and secure therapeutic relationship, and I work at your pace to slowly introduce new ways of feeling and regulating through the difficult parts.

In therapy with me, you will explore the known and unknown barriers to why you “can’t do the thing”, process how the systems in your life impact this, discuss psychoeducation around how trauma impacts how you show up with yourself and others, and discuss realistic ideas of what makes you feel more comfortable and secure. 

If you’re a therapist looking for therapy in Indiana or Illinois, I would love to help! I work with therapists, helping professionals, and couples navigating burnout, sexual trauma, and relationship concerns. If you’re looking for therapy that balances clinical expertise with genuine human connection, schedule a consultation or intake appointment today!